X – Marks the Spot

I stood on the stage and my foggy mind wandered.  I felt like I was in a dream.  Everything was moving in slow motion.  I heard the judges’ commands but even they came out in a sloooowww deeeep distorted sound.  I felt as if I was underwater. I could hear one clear sound, my own heart beat.  Thump thump…thump…thump thump…thump.  It was so hot.  A bead of sweat rolled from the top of my bald head to the tip of my nose to my chest.  I looked down to see it roll down my chest like a drop of rain rolling down a windshield.  Pose after pose after pose… I stood on the very end of the stage.  The class was so big I was almost behind a curtain offstage to the right.  The lights were so bright, but I could clearly see the judges’ faces.  They were not looking at me.  This may sound like a normal bodybuilding competition to those unfamiliar or new to the sport, but let me share the problem I experienced that day many years ago, early in my bodybuilding career.  In the sport of bodybuilding a competitor is usually placed in a class based on weight.  In Pre-Judging the competitor is brought out with all the other competitors in the class, and commanded to hit a series of mandatory poses.  The judges score each pose as they compare the competitors.  Now, it is an unspoken, unwritten “rule of thumb” that the top competitors compete in the middle of the stage.  You walk out in numerical order, but that doesn’t last long.  The judges move competitors around so it is easier for them to compare.  The top competitors are brought to the middle.  In 99% of competitions this happens.  Let me be clear – as a bodybuilder, your mission is to be in the MIDDLE of the stage…Posing on the big white X in the MIDDLE of the stage…

On that day many years ago, I stood on the very end of the stage working my butt off.  Not a single judge looked at me for more than .3 seconds.  I thought to myself, “I can’t get them to look at me.  What can I do?  I can’t work any harder.  I’m stuck way out here.  I’m invisible.  I DON’T MATTER!”  I remember a panic coming over me and feeling like I was drowning.  “Great job fellas!  We’ll see you back here tonight,” one of the judges said.  And it was over.  Needless to say, I didn’t place.  I talked to one of the judges after the competition and asked what happened.  “Great job.  Thanks for competing.  Keep working hard.  Stay on your diet,” he said.  Ok…now I knew I was invisible with that canned, cookie cutter answer.  In my hotel bed that night, I whispered , “This WILL NEVER happen to me again.  I will never NOT MATTER again.”

Please don’t think that I’m saying the judges were wrong and that I was somehow cheated that night.  I’m not saying that at all.  It was my fault.  I wasn’t ready.  I deserved to be on the end.  Bodybuilding judges are typically very accurate and they have a tough job.  I’m telling this story to help you if you’re a person stuck on the end of the stage.  Are you invisible?  Do you feel like you don’t matter?  Do you feel like your boss never looks at the great job you do?…Does he/she seem to pile more and more on you without even a thank you?  Is your husband taking you for granted?…assuming the food just appears in the fridge and hot and ready on the table…the kids get themselves up and ready for school…they get homework done on their own…get themselves to ball practice…seem to forget you have a job…or think the errands run themselves?  Does your wife forget you’re working all day to give her nice things?…forget you’re trying to provide your children things and opportunities neither one of you have ever had…does she forget money doesn’t grow on trees and cars don’t take care of themselves?  Do your parents demand you be their doctor, nurse, accountant, chef, and driver?  Do your children expect EVERYTHING from you?…time…money…quietness as to not jeopardize their coolness…money…hot meals…cool clothes…dessert…expensive shoes…money…annnnd money?  All of these situations are a part of life…a part of life we can certainly love and be ok with…if it doesn’t get out of hand.  When it does get to be too much, it becomes a life lived on the END of the stage my friends.  And let’s be honest…it stinks…not all the time…but most of the time.  It’s true… it just stinks to “not matter”…to be “invisible”…to be drowning on the end of the stage.  Here’s the thing : You don’t have to stay way out there.  The middle of the stage is where you CAN be…the middle of the stage represents the exact definition of what you want your life to be…the X that marks the spot…the BEST version of yourself and your life.  Whisper to yourself…or scream if needed…”This WILL NOT happen anymore!  I WILL NOT…NOT MATTER!”  The only thing that doesn’t matter is what anyone else thinks about your decision to move to the middle of the stage. You decide.  Decide that all the circumstances you think are keeping you on the end of the stage WILL NOT keep you from working hard to make yourself visible.  Communicate your problems, your goals, and your strategy with the person(s) who NEED to know, but don’t negotiate once you’ve prayed and decided on the path you’re going to take.  And PLEASE…PLEASE…PLEASE DO NOT think this will be easy.  When I decided I would never be invisible again on the bodybuilding stage, I went back to the drawing board in my contest prep.  I worked years and years and years.  Blood, sweat, sacrifice, tears, and pain… to get where I am today(and still by no means am I where I will be).  And though I feel blessed to be in the middle of the stage in bodybuilding, I am nowhere close to that in life.  But, if I can work in life with the same determination I have in bodybuilding… if I can say I was better than the last contest…better than the last day…that I stayed focus…worked extremely hard…and gave my best…if I or ANY OF US  can honestly say those words…we’ll all be smiling together in the crowded…crowded…crowded middle of the stage!  Let’s work!!! 🙂

Doing work from the MIDDLE of the stage…

     

The REAL MIDDLE of the stage 🙂

 

 

One thought on “X – Marks the Spot

  1. Pat says:

    Great post, many good thoughts

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