It’s Not About The Rims…

A few years ago I traveled to the coast to my boyhood home.  As I pulled into the trailer park, I noticed a group of boys parking their bikes and heading to the basketball court.  I made my way through the trailer park(I have written an in-depth story about that day and may post it in the future…it was an amazing experience for me to travel back to Wedgewood Lakes 30 yrs later) and as I pulled back in front of the park, I saw the boys playing basketball.  I drove into the park, rolled down the window, and cut the engine.  As I watched and listened to the boys playing, I took notice of the court.  It looked slightly better than it did when I left so many years ago.  It was the same old court…except the concrete rectangle had been extended all the way around by about 12 inches.  At least the goals were now the same height…the rims weren’t bent or as rusty…but of course…the they still had no nets.  I listened to the boys razz each other as they were playing and I thought about how we used to play on that court almost every day.  We had mastered where not to step to avoid breaking an ankle on the tiny rectangular raised concrete court…we had perfected the speed and agility needed to avoid fishing the ball from one of the “lakes” in Wedgewood Lakes…which was really a pond…after someone made a shot or dunked on the netless rim.  We had skillfully learned to adjust our shots depending if your team was shooting on the short extremely bent goal…or on the straight rim but entirely tilted goal.   The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I couldn’t help but think I…my friends…deserved better. Why hadn’t any adults taken care of our court? Why didn’t they look out for us?  I was snapped out of my flashback by a boy’s voice “Hey..Hey you!..Come on..We need you to play!”  I hopped out of the car and made my way to the court.  It was a hot hot hot Eastern North Carolina day…and humid…You guys in Eastern NC know what I’m talking about…It’s so hot you see birds pulling worms out of the ground using pot holders…and when a breeze finally hits you in the back, you turn around to see where the dragon is…Anyway, I made my way onto the court and was quickly assigned to the skins(shirtless) team.  My nickname became “Muscleman” even though I told them they could call me “Old Man”.  We played and played….and joked and joked.  Toward the end of the game the ball rolled toward the pond(which I was at this point thankful for because I needed the rest)…and I stood with my hands on my hips…soaked with sweat…gasping for air.  I looked around at the boys, the court, and the trailers in the background and felt an overwhelming  joy and peace in my heart…and I said out loud “It’s not about the rims…”  One of the boys asked “What?”  “Nothing” I said, “Let’s play.”  And this is the lesson I learned…and would like to share with you :

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Sometimes in life we get focused on the wrong things.  Sometimes in life we think we need something to make us happy…to get a job done…to accomplish a goal or task…or to even start a task…to even begin to pursue a dream.  Sometimes in life we focus so much on that something, we MISS the important lessons in what we’re doing…and it can be a miserable…regretful…painful…MISS.  As I played basketball with boys who reminded me of myself and my friends that day, I realized it wasn’t about the rims.  We never even noticed the rims…and certainly didn’t care about the size of the court.  We had each other…we had the game.  Those boys were just like me 30 years ago…getting around everywhere they needed to be on their bikes…taking care of each other…making the best of their circumstances each and every day.  We didn’t need any adults to fix our court for us back then…and they don’t need it now.  It isn’t about the rims for them.  And it shouldn’t be for us. Don’t lose the value of the relationships you have with each and every individual in your life by looking at the negatives…stop looking at the rust on the rims.  Don’t miss your kids growing up because you think you need to work long hours to give them a big house or more stuff…stop focusing on the size of the court…they don’t care…they just want you to play with them.  Stop being afraid that if you shoot and miss on a netless rim that you might have to chase down a loose ball…Just shoot!…Go for what you want!  Lastly, it’s OK to feel stress…about being poor…being unhappy…being overwhelmed…being out of shape.  It’s OK to feel anxiety about an addiction…a perceived failure…a problem forgiving…a tragedy…an abuse.  All of this is Life.  It’s Ok to feel…It’s not OK to sit around and be angry because no one is taking care of your problems.  You decide what you need to see in your life.  And I suggest Prayer…Pray for clarity and vision…then move forward…focus on what you can control…and stop looking at the bent and rusty rims.  Get in the game!  Move forward and enjoy the game!  Enjoy your life.  It was a blessing to return to my childhood trailer park basketball court.  It was a blessing to be reminded by those boys what life is really about.  We have one game…one life…no matter where it’s being played…that’s it-only ONE…It’s up to us to appreciate it and to live it fully.  Now go play!!! 🙂

“The secret to having it all…is believing you already do.”

2 thoughts on “It’s Not About The Rims…

  1. Donna weld says:

    Your stories always move me, but this one even more so. I love to just sit back and observe social groups of people. I’m often taken back and amazed that people often choose their social groups according to things that in the scheme of life really isn’t important when it comes down to it. Granted ..people are drawn to those with like interests but isn’t it more important to have a deeper connection than just where you live, what you drive and how big your bank account is? I feel lucky to have friends that value me for more than my material possessions because I played on courts with missing nets as well once, but wouldn’t change who I am today for the experience of knowing what’s truly important in life now.

  2. Ann Goosmann says:

    Thank you for your insight, Anthony. You’re right. Lots of us, myself included, waste to much time trying to make everything around us “right” or “better” instead of just making the most of what we’ve got. You remind me to take the blessings I have been given and enjoy them more fully.

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